Vancouver has a jelly doughnut problem.
You can be forgiven if this serious issue hasn’t hit your radar. There’s a turbulent, fast-changing world out there, and it’s my job to bring hard-hitting stories like this to the public eye.
Now, you may be thinking, “why, the jelly doughnut literally hasn’t changed since the beginning of time. What’s the problem here?” Good question, hypothetical reader.
Jelly doughnuts are an unassuming presence on the bakery shelf. They’re a reminder of a simpler time; a comforting bit of nostalgia. But here’s the problem… most of them aren’t very good. There are two main issues we’ll cover here: Jam Quality, and Jam-to-Doughnut Ratio.
Jam quality is a big problem. To quote culinary titan, Homer Simpson, “HELLOOO! FLAVOUR??” There’s already sugar on the doughnut itself, so a robust, tart filling is necessary for balance. True connoisseurs of the jelly doughnut are happy to pay a premium for a good filling.
Next, let’s talk ratio. Put simply, you should be able to bite anywhere in the doughnut and hit the jam pocket. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bitten down and only come away with bread. Heartbreaking stuff. (I’m dabbing my eye right now.)
Vancouver doughnutteries, I implore you, let’s elevate this bakery classic to its deserved status on the shelf. The first place that nails it will not only win my business, but a piece of my heart as well.
Totally a Real Journalist
Master of Doughnuts
Pump Up The Jam
Hey, Suga, Suga